‘The Loosest Aussie Bloke Ever’ commentates the World Cup


Australia have lost magnificently at the FIFA World Cup, putting in valiant but ultimately unsuccessful attempts against the might of Chile, the Netherlands and Spain; but off the pitch at least, we might have a winner.

Adelaide comedian Alex Williamson has been diligently re-commentating key moments and goals of the World Cup under his moniker, The Loosest Aussie Bloke Ever. Short clips of wonder goals and important moments out of matches from the USA, Ivory Coast, England, Argentina and of course Australia, his profanity-laden commentary is lighting up a World Cup populated by bored-sounding commentators.

“Oh get fucked! Get absolutely fucked!” he proclaims as Tim Cahill’s wonder goal against the Dutch careens off the underside of the crossbar and into the back of the net.

“He coward-punches the flag, because he’s Strayan, and he’s proud,” he continues as Cahill heads to the corner flag for his customary post-goal boxing celebration.

The Ivory Coast “need a goal more now than they need clean water and food,” while “Iranian snipers have shot two underachievers” after Lionel Messi’s goal breaks the hearts of Iran. Wayne Rooney scores a goal “but his head still looks rough as shit so there’s no point celebrating.”

It’s rude and crude, but as the World Cup progresses into the second round, it might be worth keeping an ear out for Williamson’s unique brand of commentary to spice up those late nights and early mornings.

See more of Williamson’s clips here.

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