Powdered Caffeine Is A Recipe For Disaster

7f16cd2c18ffb49c6db35f0af1998267

Powdered sports drink? Convenient, cheap, economical, makes good DIY Gatorade.

Powdered alcohol? Woah son, this sounds pretty good but let’s just hold our horses.

Powdered caffeine you sprinkle on your chips, pizza, sandwich or dessert for a heart-attack in a shaker bottle? Nah, nope, no way.

American company Caffex is looking to market CaffeinAll, what it calls is “the world’s first non-bitter caffeine in a handy shaker bottle.” The company, once responsible for marketing a line of caffeinated marshmallows, is aiming to raise $25,000 on IndieGoGo to help them fund “[producing] CaffeinAll at a scale that will make it affordable to everyone.”

“We have perfected and tested our product, arranged for the use of a FDA GMP and Kosher approved production facility, and are ready to gear up production on a moment’s notice,” the crowdfunding page spruiks.

“It can be added to any food, is fun to use, and is much more affordable than other products… as a free-flowing powder, you can sprinkle on any food: Burgers, Pizza, Fries, Salads, Ice cream, Coffee, or Hot chocolate.”

The page aims to part you from your hard-earned money in search of an instant energy boost, decrying the cost and inconvenience of buying coffee, Red Bull or other energy drinks. Never wait in line at Starbucks again! Don’t ever worry about having to go in a shop and purchase another can of fizzy drink!

“The patented sifter and bottle cap enables you to deliver an average 100 mg caffeine in a sprinkle shot, to give you the energy of a strong cup of coffee,” the description continues.

And here’s where it gets tricky.

20140529110540-The_Science_of_Caffeine

Look, ya boi here loves caffeinated beverages. I worked in an office where we got free crates of Red Bull delivered on the daily, and I’d polish off at least one or two every day in the office. I’m no coffee drinker, but my alcoholic bev of choice for years was “(anything) and energy.” A can or two of V is my constant companion on long car drives.

But last year I took a caffeine tablet on Spring Break in Lake Havasu, Arizona, and it was the worst post-drinking aftermath of my life.

The night was fine. We had been up drinking and partying for three days straight, and all the boys in the house had started to plateau. We’d peaked. There was no more party that our bodies could handle… until a mate pulled out a bottle of caffeine tablets. I ate one. Another mate ate one and (for some reason) crushed and snorted another. The night was great – boundless energy, no need for sleep! Let’s party!

The next day, my mate couldn’t get out of bed. He could barely move and ended up on an emergency trip back to our house after taking a short drive down to the lake. He stayed in bed all day. I made it out on the lake, but immediately regretted it. The crash finally caught up with me on the water, giving me the worst headache I’ve ever had, coupled with dry heaving, dizzy spells and blurry vision. I swore to never touch pure caffeine again, and that’s the problem here.

You don’t think people are going to pour handfuls of this stuff into their drinks? Load up their dinners with powder, just because? Swallow it straight from the bottle? Caffeine in a drink is fine – but when you give over a bottle of the stuff, in pure form, to users and say “be careful” you’re asking for trouble.

“We recommend that you use no more than 3 sprinkle shots, containing (about 300 mg caffeine) a day,” the information sheet runs, which is followed instantly by “Each small, unbreakable bottle contains 200 doses of our product (200 cups of strong coffee’s worth)”. Yep, that seems safe.

But, if you want to get this project off the ground, go check out the crowdfunding page here.

Follow Bleached on Facebook for more internet mischief.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s